Long story short:
Let’s funk like this

 Short story long: It’s been a small handful of years since Gooferman indulged in that one fateful hot tub melee that one fateful night and were overcome by a previously unknown strain of fateful, coulrophiliac flesh-eating virus. It’s in our contract with The Devil that if such an untimely demise were to ever attempt to overcome us (including henta viruses of whatever kind), we would immediately be ushered into cryogenically derived suspended animation within 9 feet of Walt Disney hizself, which would have the dual desired effect of killing off the pathogens and preserving us in agelessness. All right next to goddam Disney hizself.